Ja'Lisse's Story: Being Present Doesn't Mean Being Perfect

The Chaos is Part of the Joy

Mornings in our house start early. The coffee maker gurgles, and I'm already moving, making breakfast, hunting for missing shoes, smoothing hair. There's a constant hum of multitasking before I even open my laptop for work. By the time my day officially "starts," I've already been mom, chef, nurse, and referee. Between meetings, I check in throughout the day, and by 5 o'clock, it's right back to mom mode with dinner, family time, and bedtime routine. My husband and I share the load, but no matter how busy it gets, I try to remind myself that this chaos is part of the joy.

Being Intentional About Quality Time

Being present with my kids doesn't have to be complicated. It's the small things like sitting on the floor to play, listening to their wild stories, and soaking in the little moments free from distraction. It doesn't have to be hours at a time, but it does need to be intentional so they feel seen and loved. One day, mid-playtime, I caught myself multitasking instead of engaging and felt a lump in my throat.

Childhood is moving so fast. I don't want to miss it. I want them to remember a mom who was there — fully there. There's always laundry, work emails, or something that needs to get done, and it can be tough to set that aside. I have to remind myself constantly that chores can wait, but my kids won't stay little forever.

Giving Myself Permission to Pause

Little routines help. Putting my phone down during meals, reading a book together before bed, or having a few minutes of playtime right after work, those small pauses create connection and remind me to slow down. I give myself grace by remembering that I don't have to do it all alone. My spouse is such an active father, and knowing we're a team helps take the pressure off.

On the harder days, I remind myself that being present doesn't mean being perfect; it means showing up with love. The to-do list will always be there, but when I stop and enjoy a moment with my kids, it grounds me and actually makes everything else feel lighter.

Bittersweet Memories & Passing Time

Every birthday seems to catch me off guard. It's always bittersweet because I'm happy that they're growing, but sometimes all I see are the babies I brought home from the hospital. As a content creator, I also have to watch that I'm not living my life through a lens. I've learned to snap a few quick photos at the start of whatever we're doing and then put the phone away. I don't want my kids to think their mom was always behind a screen instead of in the moment.

Little Big Things

There are a lot of voices telling you how to be a mom, but more than anything, I've discovered that my children are my best teachers. Whether it's stopping to admire a bug on the sidewalk or giggling over a silly joke, they remind me to slow down and find joy in simple moments. They love to share every ladybug, interesting cloud, or ridiculous knock-knock joke. They pull me back to the present and remind me that the little things are actually the big things.

Creating a Deeper Connection

Being more present has strengthened our bond. My kids feel seen and heard, and I notice they open up more when I give them my full attention. It has created a deeper connection in our everyday moments. And on the days when it all feels like too much, I remind myself that it's okay if it isn't perfect. What matters most is that my kids feel loved, safe, and seen. In the end, they won't remember a flawless schedule or a spotless house; they'll remember a mom who kept showing up with her whole heart.

Start small. Put the phone down, take a deep breath, and soak in one little moment each day. Your kids will remember your love.